My favourite part of this portrait is his eyebrows. You know how people try to appear sober when they’re drunk. This man’s eyes are glazed and sleepy, but his eyebrows are perked right up: “I’m not drunk. She how alert I am?”

What kind of a drunk are you? Belligerent? Sleepy? One time when I had too many, I got cheerfully insistent. I decided that one of my friends needed hear this wicked song. Like need to hear it. You godda do it. It’s catchy, y’know? Anyways, I’mmunna just…look I can puttit on right here. Lemme jush get my phone.

Well. I do like Iron Maiden and “Can I Play With Madness?” is a great song, but no one needs to hear it. So heed my tale and be good to your liver; be good to your friends, and don’t get obnoxiously tipsy.